What do you get when you combine an Emily who has 4 major projects due in a week...6 boys who act like they are all on crack...and one tired husband

CRAZY HOUSE, PA

That is all

We are thankful for

YOU!  We believe that the only way we are making it here is by the grace of God and YOUR support.  Your love and prayers mean more to us more than you will ever know, but please know that today, and everyday, we thank God for your faithfulness in keeping us on your hearts.

We love each and every one of you and wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving full of love, hope and shalom.  We will have a great day because we are here with only two of our children...WOO HOO!

Much love,
Jon + Emily

A Little Salt on my JELLO Part 2

I never took a class on Parenting 101.
 If I did though, I'm guessing the first lesson would be:

 "DON'T LOSE YOUR KID"

That would mean I had just failed the first lesson of Parenting.  I had lost one of my kids! He wasn't in sight.  Add on top of that the fact that it was night time.  He was somewhere roaming around at night in an angry stupor.  Where would I go if I was him?  I looked around and noticed a Dollar Tree nearby.  Also, there was a grocery store and a good will store.  He might be in one of those.  It is dark and chilly.  He might have stepped in one of those to escape the cold

We looked in the stores, couldn't find him.  I called the agency's number to report a runaway child.  They told me to just wait at the restaraunt and hope he returns.  So, we did.

Twenty minutes later, I saw him walking out the front door of the dollar tree.  Another guy in the house and I went to talk to him.  He got in a loud verbal argument with the other guy.  This runaway thought everyone was against him.  I tried to talk with him.

"Get away from me.  I don't want to talk to anyone."
 (said angrily as he begins to walk back into the dollar tree)\

(I follow him) "I know your angry and want to be alone.  How about you and Emily head home all alone in her car.  It will be just the two of you."

"No.  Don't talk to me."  (He quickly darts down an aisle in an attempt to get away from me.)

I sigh and follow behind him.  I really want to just leave him and say see ya.  Have fun without anywhere to sleep or anything to eat and no money.  Hope you enjoy being angry in the cold with no food and no bed.

Instead, I tell him we have to go home.

"I'll walk home"

"You know it took us forty minutes to drive here.  How long do you think it will take to walk home?"

"Don't talk to me.  Get beepin' away from me."  He darts down another aisle.  People in the store are beginning to look at us.  My runaway is talking very loud.  This is getting ridiculous.

I go outside and find Emily.  Maybe this is a matter that requires a little feminine finesse.
 "Can you go and talk to him about going home just the two of you in your car?  He won't listen to me.  Maybe he'll listen to you."

Emily goes and suggests getting some candy and going home just the two of them.  Ahh, bribery...

it didn't work.  She got the same response.

  "Get away from me.  Don't talk to me."

I sent Emily and the guys home in the van.  I was going to wait for my angry runaway to calm down and get in the car.

I waited in the car in the parking lot.  I could see him in the store wandering around.  Periodically he would come out and look around.

Finally, he thought he was alone.  I saw him looking around outside the dollar store.  He actually looked worried.  He talked a big game, but now that he thought he was alone, he was scared.

I turned the car on and pulled up next to him.

"You ready to go?"

His face showed relief and then in a flash it switched to angry.

"Get away from me."

Really, again?

In total, I waited for an hour and a half outside waiting for him to calm down.  Eventually, I had to call the police to come and talk with him.  It was very frustrating because my natural response was to play hard ball and leave him.  You don't want to get in the car and go home?  Well, you're eighteen.  Ok, have fun.

The next time the guys were planning to go somewhere, he asked if he could go.  My response, "Nope.  I don't know if I can take you out in public.  I don't want to have a repeat of this weekend.  What happens if you get angry again and refuse to go home?"

He got huffy and puffy and went to watch Spongebob.  He is learning that if you don't act right out in the community, I just won't take you out anywhere.  Simple as that.

A Little Salt on my JELLO Part 1

So, quick update:  The kids involved in the milk and knife incident were asked to talk with one another and make-up... that's pretty much it.

This weekend, we went out to eat with our guys.  We took them to an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  They were super excited.  One of my guys was telling me how he was going to eat ten plates of food!

The whole meal was going wonderful.  The guys kept saying how great the food was.  We were joking and laughing.  We were becoming a closer community.  One guy ate a plate and a half of Chinese BBQ chicken.  He kept telling us we had to try it.

After everyone was full and couldn't eat another bite, we went up to get dessert.  Our six foot tall fourteen year old got an entire plate of jello.  He proceeded to shove half the plate of jello into his mouth at once.  Everyone laughed as his cheeks were bursting with jello goodness.

Another one of our guys is eighteen years old but mentally probably ten or twelve.  He likes to watch cartoons and LOVES spongebob.  He currently is excited about the new Harry Potter.  One day he sang a Hannah Montana song to us and danced the actual dance from the movie at the same time.  It was pretty impressive.  Well, he decided to go get some jello so he could eat a bunch at once like his fourteen year old friend.  He came back with a jiggling plate full of orange jello.  I was interested to see how much he was going to eat at once.  But before he ate any, he informed us he had to go to the bathroom first.

So, as the guys looked at his empty chair and his full jello plate, one of them decided to add a little seasoning to his jello.  They sprinkled salt all over the top of his jello.  Now, many a time I have seen teens pull this prank on each other during youth trips.  I've seen the classic "unscrew the top of the Parmesan cheese" gag; the person goes to put some cheese on top of their pizza and they get a mountain of cheese.  I've seen the "nickel slammed into the bottom of the plastic salt shaker" trick; the person goes for the salt and leaves a trail of salt spilling from the bottom.  This prank was just another silly prank in a long line of pranks...or was it?

Our Spongebob lovin', Hannah Montana singing comrade came back from his bathroom trip as the rest of the guys tried to gather their composure and stop smiling.  Someone dared him to eat the jello as fast as he could.  He smiled and obliged them.  He grabbed a square and popped it into his mouth.  Soon the salty bitter taste sank in and his smile faded as his face contorted in suprise.  The guys laughed.  I admit, I smiled a little myself.  I wouldn't be smiling for long.  Spongebob Jello Eater quickly became incredibly angry.

" You guys think this is funny!  This isn't funny!  Beep you guys!"

The rest of the guys continued to laugh.  I tried to calm him down.  He was in a rage.

"Come on, we can get you some more jello from the buffet"

"NO!  Beep all of you guys!  This isn't beepin' funny!  I'm going to beep you guys up!  I'm going outside to wait...away from you guys!"

The meal was almost over.  I knew that he needed some space.  I would give him a minute or two outside to calm down.  I would take him a fortune cookie when I went to see how he was doing.  He stormed outside.  The guys at the table were still laughing.  I really don't think they were trying to pick on their housemate.  They were just being playful.  Regardless of the intention, they had hurt his feelings and made him feel attacked by everyone...which is why he reacted the way he did.

After talking with them for a minute, I went out to talk with my hurt, frustrated, angry guy.  I wasn't sure what to say to him.  I didn't want to explain away his feelings or minimize what happened.  He may have been mad at me for allowing them to "tamper" with his jello.  Who knows what was running through his head?  I figured I would find out as soon as I walked out the front door.

I walked outside expecting to hear some more curse words.  Instead, I heard nothing.  And, I saw nothing.  My guy was gone.  He had disappeared.  I scanned the parking lot...nothing.  I went to the side of the restaraunt....nothing.  He had left.

Feelin the love!

Jon and I just wanted to say
THANK YOU
to everyone for their prayers and encouraging emails, texts, Facebook posts and letters.  We have such wonderful friends and family...God's love has been seen in all of you.

THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU

Milk, a Knife, and Obscenities

Emily and I were off this weekend.  It was wonderful and relaxing.

WHEN THE CATS AWAY THE MICE WILL PLAY...  and oh, did they ever play.

One of our guys was harassing another guy over milk.  Apparently, he did this for ten or fifteen minutes.  He just kept giving him a hard time.  He wouldn't leave him alone.

"Why do you drink so much milk?  Why don't you share milk?  Now there's no milk?"

I imagine several put-downs and curse words were mixed
 into this malicious monologue on milk.

The guy verbally berated and belittled; he wouldn't drop it.  Finally, something in the milk drinker snapped.

Milk drinker ran over to the dishwasher, grabbed a knife out, held it up and shouted.

 "Shut up!  Shut up!  I'm gonna cut your beepin'  throat!"

At this point, the relief houseparent walks in and asks the non-milk drinker to go outside immediately.

Did he go outside?....No.   Instead he stood there and said over and over, "he's threatening me with a knife.  he's threatening me with a knife."

Relief Staff:  "I know he's threatening you with a knife.  That is why i told you to go outside.  Now go outside."

Did he go outside? .... No.

The relief staff had to escort  him outside.

Once his agitator was outside, milk drinker dropped the knife (thankfully) and ran out to meet him.  There on the front lawn of suburban pennsylvania, two teenage males yelled obscenities and threats at each other for twenty minutes.

"I'm gonna kick your beep!"
"I'm not beepin' scared of you!"

No one called the cops.  Relief staff didn't call the cops.  The boys calmed down, and they were all ready for bed and in their bedrooms when I took over the house.

No one was physically hurt.

 But, who can tally the mental and emotional wounds of the day?  How long will those take to heal?

What will our organization do?  I'll keep you posted.

I walked through the house when I took over.  I searched for knives.  I found one in the dishwasher, found one in the silverware drawer.  I locked them up in the medicine closet.  No knives are accessible.

All of this over some milk.  Milk?  Really?

 I know it does a body good, but Come On.

Prayer

Jon and I feel like we are at a crossroads...would you please add us to your prayer list this weekend...we are praying for God's will to be clear to us as far as staying at the group home or looking for other opportunities.  We knew it would not be easy to take this job...but we also see how if things don't get better soon, we will lose our minds and be changed...and not for the better

A hard spot to be...but we know God is faithful and He will provide what we need.

Thanks friends.

Okay...as far as an update...this week we had the joy of working with the boys to find out who has been using the computer inappropriately....yeah...you know what that means...

It brought us to a circle...well, many circles....but the one we had at school today was different for me.  For the first time I felt like these boys were part of my family...I actually cared about them...I mean like, not just as being responsible for them.  I think that this circle was the first time I had seen the boys get honest...without holding anything back...yeah, it was a bit uncomfortable...but for them to know that we are here to help them work through their struggles...

We are working on destructing a culture of "sneakiness" and constructing a culture of honesty and safety.  For the first time since we've been here...I saw this as a possibility.  Jon's a little different...he's been in so many circles and heard that things are going to change so many times...so I guess I am more hopeful.

I also think that the boys really care about me...anytime I'm not chipper or hide in our bedroom, they ask where I am or what is upsetting me...they will make the other boys leave me alone when I am working on homework...they talk to me about personal issues...it's nice to be needed...so I guess that makes it easier for me to connect with them on a more family level.

I was writing my friend who is doing Mission Year a letter...I asked one of our boys what I should tell her about them...he responded, "Tell her we are having technical difficulties...but we will unite soon."

We know there is much hope for these guys...they just need to get over themselves and do what they know they need to do...that would be a great thing for you guys to add to your prayer lists too.

Much love,