Here are just a couple of quotes that we enjoyed from day to day in our group home in Philly....even ones that come out of our own mouths:
"How can it be crunchy AND soft at the SAME TIME! THIS IS CRAZY!" - one of our boys talking about water chestnuts after trying them in stir-fry for the first time
"Only boring people get bored..." - Emily's explanation for boy being bored
"Where did you get that? Oklahoma?" - boy's response
{Should have said...no, from my mom}
"HEY...Watch your language!" - Jon to one of our boys
"Oh, I'm sorry...my bad..." - boy
"If you're really sorry, you'll never do it again..." - Jon to boy
{Which this is especially ironic, because whenever Emily would tell this to Jon before being in our group home, he would just say, "No, sorry means I will try not to do it again..."}
Jon peels out of the driveway in mini-van.
Boy 1: "Ahhhh Jon's a street racer!"
Boy 2: "Naaaahhhhh Jon's not a street racer"
Jon: "You don't know me...I've only been here a week!"
Jon whips car around like a crazy person...scared boys to death...this is still talked about in the house today.
"Break the habit, not the chair" - Emily...can be applied to just about everything that goes on in our house.. perhaps.we will make shirts?
Boy burps at table.
"Un-dateable" - Jon and other boys in unison
"Get outta here!" - Boys all the time...so if you hear us say this...just slap us in the face...we'll get over it
"You're mean...sometimes you seem nice...but you are really mean...it says love all over your living room...but you have no love." - Boy to Emily...maybe we are doing something right?
Up stairs...time for bed...
Boy: "I forgot my water bottle downstairs."
Jon: "Run and get it!"
Boy walks to stairs...looks down...sees the darkness
Boy: "Naaahhh...I don't need it"
Boy to Emily:
"Emily, keep doin what you're doin...one day it will be worth it"
Hello random encouragement...nice to see you!
Boy: "Jon, there's a dead squirrel outside!"
Jon: "Ok...just leave it there."
Boy: "But it's dead!"
Jon: "Leave it there so its little squirrel friends can find it and have a funeral."
{10 hours later...squirrel is still outside by the picnic table...I guess its little squirrel friends are not Jewish}
"How do they even eat crabby patties in the ocean...aren't the buns soggy?" - boy to other boy on observations from Sponge Bob Square Pants
Caseworker to new boy: "Are you sexually active?"
New boy: "What does that mean?"
Caseworker: "Do you have sex?"
New boy: "umm yeah...that's not bad is it?"
Note: new boy has a 4 year old child...
Emily: *shaking head*
New boy to Jon and Emily: "This is your house...I have to respect you."
Emily thinking to self: "I think hell just froze over..."
Jon makes "death shrimp" {text him and ask him what this means...}
Boy to Emily: "You don't have to try [to look good] anymore...you're married..."
Emily: "So are you saying I don't look like I try?...I mean, common...I even put on a headband today!"
Boy: "Ok...so maybe you try a little..."
Emily goes home to consult with Jon who says he loves the way she looks all the time...thank you very much, Boy...she told you so
Boy asks to enter living room
Jon and Emily notice all other boys peeking into living room
Something is about to go down
Boy goes behind couch...wraps arms around Jon's head and kisses him on the head, saying, "Stay safe Jon, stay safe."
Everyone dies laughing
*wow*
Boy talking to mother on phone: "You're eating fries? You are so lucky...the doctor said I couldn't eat stuff like that anymore..."
Note: this conversation happened after he fried and ate FOUR hashbrowns....not just one...but FOUR
Note on Note: shredded potatoes fried in grease in patty form are healthier than french fries...I think we are on to something here
Boy 1 to Boy 2: "I probably god OCD..."
Boy 2: "What is OCD?"
Boy 1: "The Over Cleaning Disorder."
Boy looking at the little white strip of paper in a Hershey's kisses: "Why does this say 'kisses kisses kisses'?"
Emily: "Because that is the name of the candy."
Boy with smile: "Ahhhh that is why I like these so much."
Boy in his Spanish accent: "What happened to all the chipses?....oy ya....the chips ahoyas"
{he just makes me (Emily) laugh...he is so cute}
While playing Apples to Apples...the green card (adverb) is "Extreme"
Boy flips over red card and says in booming, manly, extreme voice: "AIDS"
{if you do not understand Apples to Apples, you will not find this funny}
Emily's favorite Facebook status so far: "you know you are in crazy land when an 18 year old boy gets mad and goes up to his room and blasts Christmas music down the stairs...to teach us a lesson"
{it actually was awesome...we laughed so hard and were so thankful that it was not rap music...we felt like we were in the North Pole}
Emily to boy: "Ohmygoodness...you are slow as molasses!"
Boy to Emily: "You know...for most of my life, I thought that people were saying 'You are as slow as my asses'"
{It was awesome}
Emily to Boy: "OH MY GOODNESS...IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE!"
Boy to Emily: "I don't know what to say...I guess I am just a mouse..."
{We reference If you give a Mouse a Cookie at least once a day in our house, yet none of them have ever read it}
Boy to Emily regarding the massive amount of Christmas presents under the tree: "Are all of those REAL presents?"
The constant quoting of Geico commercials.
Emily: "Where's my other slipper?"
Jon: "Probably under the blanket..."
Boy: "What did you say? Under the black kid?"
Emily: "Ummmmm...no....blanket..."
Boy: "Hahahahaha well, I like my joke better."
Boy: "I don't want to rake the leaves, but I will vacuum the lawn."
Boy while bragging about basketball: "I was going in with no remorse or accuracy."
{pretty sure he meant apathy}
Boy: "We need some old house parents."
Emily: "Why? So they don't know what is going on?"
Boy: "Yep!"
Boy yelling from upstairs, "HELP! Stranger danger!"
{at least we know they were paying attention to that part of first grade...}
Boy protesting going to bed: "I can't go to my room yet, my sheets are in the dryer!"
Emily: "Well, then I guess you can come down in 30 minutes to get them..."
Boy: "Are you going to be down here still?"
Emily: "Probably not..."
Boy: "Then I can't come down...not in the dark..."
{the only boy we know will never sneak out at night}
Boy: "Let me interpratate..."
Emily: "Yes...can you please interpratate interpratate for me..."
Boy while looking at the moon: "I wish I could fly like Superman...then I would fly to the moon...and I would take you with me, Emily..."
{and what do you say to that?}
Emily to Jon: "Is it wrong that I want one of them to fall through the celling just one time when they are dancing upstairs...just so they can see how disruptive it is...and break a leg so they can't dance anymore...is it too much to ask?"
{p.s. we would not look down on someone who came into our house and stole all of the radios and ipods}
Jon: "April Fools!"
Boy: "Ummmm...today is March 31st"
Jon: "Oh...dang it...then March 31ST!"
{and for the rest of March 31st, we celebrated April Fools by saying March 31st}
Boy while playing video game: "WHOA did you see that? I just teleported! I'm da boss!"
{apparently you are not suppose to be able to teleport in this particular game...and maybe you don't see the humor in this quote...}
Question to boy: "So what do you want to do with your life..like college or what?"
Boy: "I definitely want to go to college..for...what is that called when you study animals?"
Me: "Zoology...do you want to be a vet?"
Boy: "Yeah...I want to be a vet"
Me: "That's awesome!" (and thinking that I am so relieved that he didn't say play basketball or rap)
Boy: "But first I am going to play basketball...then, when I make my money, go to school."
{yeah...and I've been watching this kid shoot outside for the last hour...making maybe 5 baskets...}
